The Fall from Grace
Hi friends remember me! Yes I was the one who blogged my entire journey in Bama yes the Bama Bound Zimmers. The journey that led a newlywed couple to Birmingham AL for our magical life to begin together. A fancy new job, fancy new house and a fancy new life. We had it all figured out back then a decade ago. The only worries we had was getting our four legged dog Buster through doggy daycare with his monogram backpack. Yes I wish I were kidding. Before you judge he was all I had 9 hours away, oh yeah we forgot to remember that may not turn out so magical. For the dog he didn't make it through playcare. Remember how they sat me down after they told me so called dog was anti social and hadn't been accepted. True story.
I wasn't losing my mind, I just was a lonely girl desperate to have children but couldn't and he was closest thing I had. Oh yeah I also had cancer. Remember that a week or two in, that dreaded call that they were sorry I had female cancer and we needed to act fast. no certainty I would have kids at 27 years old.. Yes that was me. So many surgeries later I did have Bama babies two in fact. Cash and Presley the two country inspired legends. Who forgot to tell us how hard raising two kids miles away from family would be, not just physically---mentally. No matter how cute they came out to be. The days were lonely and a big house and nice income never seemed to keep us warm at night. We loved Tara, our beautiful home that built us. Yet our hearts longed for home.
With a generous employer and a brave husband we said goodbye to Bama and that ended my writing hobby for a long time, until today. So where are we now? Oh yes 2017, that damn 2017. Back in the bluegrass. That we are. We have enjoyed watching our kids growing alongside cousins and family, adjusting to schools with new and old friends. A son who still is running like forest gump except now into the end zone. A little miss who still is angel straight from the heavens. Yes and a new dog. Our Buster Is accepted into the ultimate playcare now in Heaven. We've adjusted and changed, boy how we've changed.
For years Daddy traveled for work, A LOT! Yes let's just say he burnt up the sky and road miles past three years. We forgot that may be a possibility or trade off for being back home. First year the excitement kept us occupied then it took its toll. I became a single mom most weeks and he became a very tired Dad. Yet we kept pushing on because that's what parents do right? With minimal damage until this year. Oh yes and lots of anxiety my ultimate gift of adulthood or motherhood.
Which brings me back to oh yeah this year the damn 2017. The one in a week I will not just say bye to I will gladly kick out the door. I did ask for transformation this year, just didn't really want it this much. Cancer found us again in many forms. Not myself this time but my Mom, then two months later my brother. One of the best friends we moved home to spend more time with, Him and his family.....actually bought house around the corner from ...Cancer found him too. So this has been the year of bad phone calls, lots of hospitals, chemos, and prayer. Lots of prayer.
A month ago we lost our friend. My husbands best friend since the first grade. It's all so hard and hits so close to home. Literally and hypothetically. Of course 2017 you would end our year so wonderful. If it all wasn't hard enough, three days later that employer that was once so generous decided it was time for my husband to stop burning the miles and part ways suddenly. A 9year relationship came to a end and with that our journey with Bama. A full circle decade ended as another begins.
I don't know what to expect this next decade. I looked back a week ago to a journal I had received for a wedding gift in 2007. It asked what will the next 10 years look like? Of course I wrote house. New jobs. Marriage. Kids. Bliss. I didn't sign up for the fall. I didn't sign up for the trial, the tears, the anxiety. I didn't not once in that journal. Yet it came. I heard a mentor of mine say first comes the fall, then the rising. The fall, the rising. That is life. Pain is necessary to experience the Grace. Or so they say.
For this decade I'm gonna say in 10 years we are gonna grow a lot. Change a lot. Pray a lot. That is what I know to be certain. The rest well that's the journey. Bring it 2018....you know the rising.
Happy Holidays Friends and Family!
Praise God for a new year!
I wasn't losing my mind, I just was a lonely girl desperate to have children but couldn't and he was closest thing I had. Oh yeah I also had cancer. Remember that a week or two in, that dreaded call that they were sorry I had female cancer and we needed to act fast. no certainty I would have kids at 27 years old.. Yes that was me. So many surgeries later I did have Bama babies two in fact. Cash and Presley the two country inspired legends. Who forgot to tell us how hard raising two kids miles away from family would be, not just physically---mentally. No matter how cute they came out to be. The days were lonely and a big house and nice income never seemed to keep us warm at night. We loved Tara, our beautiful home that built us. Yet our hearts longed for home.
With a generous employer and a brave husband we said goodbye to Bama and that ended my writing hobby for a long time, until today. So where are we now? Oh yes 2017, that damn 2017. Back in the bluegrass. That we are. We have enjoyed watching our kids growing alongside cousins and family, adjusting to schools with new and old friends. A son who still is running like forest gump except now into the end zone. A little miss who still is angel straight from the heavens. Yes and a new dog. Our Buster Is accepted into the ultimate playcare now in Heaven. We've adjusted and changed, boy how we've changed.
For years Daddy traveled for work, A LOT! Yes let's just say he burnt up the sky and road miles past three years. We forgot that may be a possibility or trade off for being back home. First year the excitement kept us occupied then it took its toll. I became a single mom most weeks and he became a very tired Dad. Yet we kept pushing on because that's what parents do right? With minimal damage until this year. Oh yes and lots of anxiety my ultimate gift of adulthood or motherhood.
Which brings me back to oh yeah this year the damn 2017. The one in a week I will not just say bye to I will gladly kick out the door. I did ask for transformation this year, just didn't really want it this much. Cancer found us again in many forms. Not myself this time but my Mom, then two months later my brother. One of the best friends we moved home to spend more time with, Him and his family.....actually bought house around the corner from ...Cancer found him too. So this has been the year of bad phone calls, lots of hospitals, chemos, and prayer. Lots of prayer.
A month ago we lost our friend. My husbands best friend since the first grade. It's all so hard and hits so close to home. Literally and hypothetically. Of course 2017 you would end our year so wonderful. If it all wasn't hard enough, three days later that employer that was once so generous decided it was time for my husband to stop burning the miles and part ways suddenly. A 9year relationship came to a end and with that our journey with Bama. A full circle decade ended as another begins.
I don't know what to expect this next decade. I looked back a week ago to a journal I had received for a wedding gift in 2007. It asked what will the next 10 years look like? Of course I wrote house. New jobs. Marriage. Kids. Bliss. I didn't sign up for the fall. I didn't sign up for the trial, the tears, the anxiety. I didn't not once in that journal. Yet it came. I heard a mentor of mine say first comes the fall, then the rising. The fall, the rising. That is life. Pain is necessary to experience the Grace. Or so they say.
For this decade I'm gonna say in 10 years we are gonna grow a lot. Change a lot. Pray a lot. That is what I know to be certain. The rest well that's the journey. Bring it 2018....you know the rising.
Happy Holidays Friends and Family!
Praise God for a new year!
On my dear Mandy you and Chris have experienced enough sad and "falls" for a life time. God is in your side and will follow you through the next 10 of you journey of life and those beautiful babies will be so amazing you the "falls"will seem so trivial. God is walking through this journey with you and will bring you so much joy and happiness that you so much deserve💟
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